Hero Quest: American and German Youth Groups Building Together

It was April 5, 2010, the first night of an "international work camp" that included my youth group from the Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church of Saratoga Springs, NY and a youth group from the Evangelische Kirche in Hessen und Nassau (EKHN).  Most of the 10 German teenagers came from the Mainz area in Germany.  They'd arrived the week before and stayed in the homes of some of our youth group members, getting acquainted with us and a slice of American life.  Now, after riding 9 hours on the church bus, we were all gathered together (10 adults and 32 teenagers) at a church in Arlington, VA, who was letting us sleep on their floor for the duration of our week-long work camp.  We were not only partnering with each other, we were also partnering with "Rebuilding Together Washington DC" to repair two homes for the low-income, elderly and disabled people who lived in them.

I handed out 42 little gift bags on that first night. One for each person. Each bag had 42 slips of paper inside, one for each person, and they all said I'm giving a high five to [name here] because...

Those who'd never been on an April trip (including our freshmen and all our German guests) didn't know what these slips of paper were about, but our older teens did. Every April, they face the same challenge: to get to know each other well enough to offer each person a sincere note of praise.

It's not easy.

And it's not just the kids who have to do it. The adults also got a bag with 42 slips of paper. 42 notes of praise that had to be completed by Thursday night so we could share them on our last night together. Every person faced two challenges that week: get the work done on the houses and complete those little slips of paper.

You should have seen their faces when I told them. The older kids really seemed to enjoy the looks of disbelief and horror on the faces of the rest. No one complained – although there were a few quiet groans. But their expressions spoke volumes: Is she serious?

Two of the German girls came to me later that week and asked what kinds of things they should write. Sabrina said, "We don't really know them." I agreed with her, but asked her to try. All she needed to do was notice the people around her each day. If she saw someone being helpful, she could mention that. Or if there was someone who made her laugh (she agreed that Brett made her laugh) then she could write that. "It's about looking for good things," I told her. "Just try. It's funny what happens when you look for the good in each person."

But I'm getting ahead of myself...

On that first night I told them that we were all on an adventure – like a hero quest – together. They all knew the Harry Potter stories, Lord of the Rings, and Bambi. All of these stories are hero quests and they all have the same kinds of things in them. First, the hero has to leave home. Second, the hero finds new companions for the journey. Lastly, there are big challenges to be overcome. But... it's through these challenges that the hero discovers special gifts and talents that were always there, just not revealed yet.

To tell you the truth, the 42 people in our group faced a lot of challenges that week. It was a leap of faith for some to be there for the first time. Sleeping on the floor surrounded by other people was another challenge. And being in a group for an entire week with hardly any privacy was, for some, the biggest challenge of all.

Laurie and I had tried to prepare Thomas, the German pastor, for the week ahead while riding the bus down to DC. We explained why we did the things we did. Why we taught our teenagers relationship skills  and why we required them to be responsible for each other's well-being.

In a number of ways, through youth group meetings and trips, we try to teach our young people how to build a sense of belonging and how to be part of a supportive community. For me, this is the real work of our faith. Jesus built communities made of very different sorts of people. He taught them to share what they had and to take care of each other. He taught them to treat each other as they wanted to be treated and then – hardest of all – he commanded them to love each other as he loved them. Giving of themselves as he did.

It's not easy to do those things. That's what I told the kids on our last night together as we celebrated communion, sitting in a circle, passing pita bread and grape juice. In the broken bread, we remembered Jesus giving of himself and asking us to remember him by doing the same. Passing around the cup, we accepted the fact that – even if we try our hardest – we are sure to fail sometimes.  But that we can forgive and try again.

I reminded them then of the hero's quest and the hidden talents and special gifts that were always there waiting to be revealed. And that's when we celebrated each person's gifts as each member of the group heard some of the praises people had written about them that week. At the end, each person went home with 42 slips of paper to read and re-read. Each went home with the memory of being part of a group that had tried to take care of them as they had tried to take care of others.

Did they live up to that ideal the entire time? No. Did they get in trouble? Well, maybe once or twice. But that's what keeps youth travel interesting. And why I like it so much. I never know what to expect... except that the detailed plans I make will change. Sometimes several times a day. It's unavoidable. It's tiring. But it's also uplifting to spend a week with a group of young people who are really trying to practice what we preach.

The things Laurie and I asked of the kids that week weren't hard, but they were important: (1) Don't tease each other because teasing breaks down trust. (2) Look for the person who is standing or sitting alone and include them. (3) Help each other. (4) Keep each other safe. (5) Treat each other like you want to be treated.

These aren't hard things. But they're important if you want to build a strong supportive community – a community like the early church where people could tell they were Christians by how they treated each other.

There is no single way to build a sense of community.  It's an on-going process, as is doing justice and practicing kindness. These are not things that can be accomplished or finished. We aren't even commanded to succeed. Only to keep at it... starting where we are, using what we have, trying faithfully each day.

"Just try." That was the answer I gave the girls who weren't sure they could fill out 42 slips of paper. "Trying," I told them, "is the important thing. Things happen when you try."

This has become the motto of our youth group and it's taken us to some pretty amazing places and offered us some deeply meaningful experiences.  It's funny how things happen when you try.